Be selective, it's okay.

Stay away from the time wasters & energy takers
— by: me, (Not a poet lol)

You know what I really dislike with a passion, fake people. They are the ones who's agendas are tainted with falseness and only want to help themselves succeed. They find people who are looking for like-minded beings who want to work together to create movements and memories and use the other person's willingness to help as their way to the top.

I've had my fair share of these people and I can't lie, there was a time that I too was that like. Let's call them energy vampires because that's what they do, they suck all of your energy for themselves. Their words are laced with good intentions and they act like they genuinely care but they don't. In my personal opinion it's those who only ask for help and never give back, those who act like their lives are perfect when they're not and those who can easily replace you because they don't hold you at a high regard, those are the energy vampires.

I've recently talked to one and I should have trusted my gut to know this person's true intentions were just for their own worth but I believe in the goodness of people and decided to keep talking with this person. Needless to say, their true colors showed quickly and I knew that it wasn't the right fit for me. 

I know at times I may seem standoffish or antisocial but I truly want to connect with people and find like-minded beings. I also know better and see people for who they really are and I must say we are a selfish species. I'm alone most of the time because I am selective in who I want to share my energy with. I don't allow just anyone to come into my life and take what they want and leave, no not anymore. If I do find someone who is like that though, I always make sure I get something out of it too and then we end it like that. For example, if a photographer wanted to shoot me, there is a mutual exchange of energy. I am modeling for them and they are shooting my image, I'll be able to have photos to use for my social media and credit the photographer, a mutual exchange of energy from both of us. But if it's me shooting someone and they want to use my images and edit them their own way, then that's not a mutual change of energies. For one, that person picked you to shoot their images because they want your eye, that comes down to the shooting and the final product, plain and simple. If you're a photographer then you probably have had your faire share of people like this. I'm not saying they are "bad" people but they do not respect your energy. 

This goes for anything in life, not just photography. If you have a friend who only needs you when they need something, then that is not a proper exchange of energy. It's not always going to be easy to spot out the energy vampires in your life and it'll be even more challenging if you are the energy vampire but life is about give and take. So be selective with who you allow in your life, don't just assume everyone is here to be nice to you and help you throughout your journey, you'll be in for a rude awakening to see that only half are actually here to see you succeed. 

Being selective isn't an easy path, it's a lonely road to take and one where you will question if you're just being too picky. I'm forever questioning myself and why I'm so selective of the people I surround myself with that I find myself asking others if I seem pretentious or not. At the end of the day, I know who I want to surround myself with and I just need to believe in myself more. Believe in yourself and know it's okay to be selective. 

I recently read a perfectly explained blog from Denisse aka ThugNanny who wrote about not wanting to have coffee with people who just want to "pick your brain" and I absolutely agree with what she says, you need to "protect your magic" because there are people out there who will steal it all for themselves. Her post is a great read so make sure you also check hers out, No, I don't want to have coffee with you.

I know we're forced to believe that we have to be nice to everyone and you can be, you don't need to be rude to people who don't fit with you. It's just there is nothing wrong with also knowing who you want to surround yourself with, be selective, it's okay.

 

Until then,

xoxo Jacklyn 

To even exists.

It's been far too long, is that a good thing, I'm not so sure. 

But let's say it is. 

It's literally the last day of 2016 and here I am writing a goodbye. 

Goodbye to the year that has changed me for the better, I have done fantastic things that I'd never think I could do. I have broken out of my comfort zone more times than I can even remember. I'm not going to sit here and write on all that I've done, I think doing so makes me anxious to say goodbye to the year that has been kind to me. But I will say goodbye to me, the old me that will forever live in 2016.

Jack, it's been a long exhausting road to get where we are now. I mean thinking back from last year, we barely talked to anyone or did anything that was momentous. It shows how much we have actually changed in these 12 months. I was with you for every attack, every angry moment of hating who we are because of this disorder. And for every negative thought that ran through our mind, we pushed ourselves to find a positive one. 

I know it isn't easy, but we know by now that life's not suppose to be and I know you get tired, so overworked and overwhelmed with situations that other people could handle easily. But that doesn't make us any less inadequate or any less worthy of life. Just different, and different is all right. 

I mean being different doesn't seem like that awful anyway. Just look all the people we met in this year, hopefully we can learn names as fast as we can learn faces but that's what 2017 will be all about, haha! Each person, took the time to want to get to know us and figure out who we are and what we're about, that conveys so much.

Let us not forget that we are also doing more of what we love, photography. And I know, we will always consider ourselves an amateur, and that's okay, as long as we know there is extreme potential within us. Note to selves though, professional amateur has a pretty good ring to it. 

Our mama got better this year. We know she has so much more to go but seeing her view herself as the beautiful woman we knew she was all along, that is magic. Of course she steals all our clothes but we're okay with that. Our Goddess is back and that's all that truly matters.

He's growing up so quickly, our hearts cannot take it but it's a must. He is fourteen years old and we know we have had days were we have cried because we're scared for him. He's so very different, so very beautifully different and this world likes to feed off of that. But we need to believe and have faith in ourselves that he will be the young man we know he will. It's okay to cry in frustration because we cannot understand him, we love him and that's all there needs to be. 

Love, If we are sure about anything it is about love. We have never wavered from our beliefs on love and always take it in with arms wide open. Wow, we are still lovers of the world, of the people in our lives, our pups, just life in general. Not many people can say that. Let us never change that, okay?

We have to say goodbye Jack as you cannot come with me into the new year. But remember you'll always have a place in my heart and in my mind. You have saved me more than I know and I am forever grateful for the challenges we have gone through together. I love you more than you know and I'm so sorry I could be so unkind to you sometimes. I like to call those my human moments because let's be honest we're fucking aliens. We are not like everyone else and that's frightening because it can be so lonesome. But not to worry, I promise you and all the others before you that I will do right this year. A new regeneration, a stronger, more loving and powerful Jack for this New Year. 2016, you might have sucked to most people for the reasons we all know but you were a pretty amazing year to me, it was fantastic to be able to be alive, least we forget that's what truly matters in the end. 

To even exists, the biggest adventure and yet the only one we know. 

May we never lose our sense of wonder.

Our sense of beauty in the pain.

Love and love and love.

Love with tears,

love with smiles.

Find the light in the darkness.

Be the light. 

 

Bonne Année <3.

Until then,

Jacklyn

xoxo