Photographer & Mental Health Advocate
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Anxiety Awareness

Be selective, it's okay.

Stay away from the time wasters & energy takers
— by: me, (Not a poet lol)

You know what I really dislike with a passion, fake people. They are the ones who's agendas are tainted with falseness and only want to help themselves succeed. They find people who are looking for like-minded beings who want to work together to create movements and memories and use the other person's willingness to help as their way to the top.

I've had my fair share of these people and I can't lie, there was a time that I too was that like. Let's call them energy vampires because that's what they do, they suck all of your energy for themselves. Their words are laced with good intentions and they act like they genuinely care but they don't. In my personal opinion it's those who only ask for help and never give back, those who act like their lives are perfect when they're not and those who can easily replace you because they don't hold you at a high regard, those are the energy vampires.

I've recently talked to one and I should have trusted my gut to know this person's true intentions were just for their own worth but I believe in the goodness of people and decided to keep talking with this person. Needless to say, their true colors showed quickly and I knew that it wasn't the right fit for me. 

I know at times I may seem standoffish or antisocial but I truly want to connect with people and find like-minded beings. I also know better and see people for who they really are and I must say we are a selfish species. I'm alone most of the time because I am selective in who I want to share my energy with. I don't allow just anyone to come into my life and take what they want and leave, no not anymore. If I do find someone who is like that though, I always make sure I get something out of it too and then we end it like that. For example, if a photographer wanted to shoot me, there is a mutual exchange of energy. I am modeling for them and they are shooting my image, I'll be able to have photos to use for my social media and credit the photographer, a mutual exchange of energy from both of us. But if it's me shooting someone and they want to use my images and edit them their own way, then that's not a mutual change of energies. For one, that person picked you to shoot their images because they want your eye, that comes down to the shooting and the final product, plain and simple. If you're a photographer then you probably have had your faire share of people like this. I'm not saying they are "bad" people but they do not respect your energy. 

This goes for anything in life, not just photography. If you have a friend who only needs you when they need something, then that is not a proper exchange of energy. It's not always going to be easy to spot out the energy vampires in your life and it'll be even more challenging if you are the energy vampire but life is about give and take. So be selective with who you allow in your life, don't just assume everyone is here to be nice to you and help you throughout your journey, you'll be in for a rude awakening to see that only half are actually here to see you succeed. 

Being selective isn't an easy path, it's a lonely road to take and one where you will question if you're just being too picky. I'm forever questioning myself and why I'm so selective of the people I surround myself with that I find myself asking others if I seem pretentious or not. At the end of the day, I know who I want to surround myself with and I just need to believe in myself more. Believe in yourself and know it's okay to be selective. 

I recently read a perfectly explained blog from Denisse aka ThugNanny who wrote about not wanting to have coffee with people who just want to "pick your brain" and I absolutely agree with what she says, you need to "protect your magic" because there are people out there who will steal it all for themselves. Her post is a great read so make sure you also check hers out, No, I don't want to have coffee with you.

I know we're forced to believe that we have to be nice to everyone and you can be, you don't need to be rude to people who don't fit with you. It's just there is nothing wrong with also knowing who you want to surround yourself with, be selective, it's okay.

 

Until then,

xoxo Jacklyn