Don't forget to fall (Ft. Schizophrenic.NYC)
I know so many people might take what I'm saying as invalid and for certain situations I agree. Falling, in any general sense, is always looked down upon in our society and I'm not so sure why. They say that we are human and it is in our nature to have error, but the consequences of falling are always so negative and I cannot understand why?
If there is one thing having an anxiety disorder/illness has taught me, it's that falling is IMPERATIVE. To fall is to understand how far you have gone and how much more you need to go. It's a reminder that everything can and will go wrong at some point, so it's better to understand why & how than to be left with not knowing. In our society, we need to know it ALL. Thanks, Google, but what happens when there is no Google search for falling down and picking yourself up? What can you do to tell yourself that this isn't the end of your story, that it's just a reminder? A reminder to be humble, to be strong, to see that negative & positive situations are just that. Every negative & positive moment needs one another because you cannot question the rain and appreciate the rainbow.
Life is not easy with my anxiety, but I understand that even without an anxiety disorder/illness, life is still difficult. I look at the world with different eyes, eyes that feel so much & see so much. I am easily overwhelmed and it's always more difficult for me to talk to people and to trust. The only close friends I have are the friends I've known most of my life. These are the friends that have seen ALL of me-- the Ashley that cares, the Ashley that can be spoiled, the Ashley that is intelligent and the Ashley that falls. All of me includes my anxiety and I'm not ashamed to say that I'll fall so many more times in my life. But that's okay because I know when I'll fall, I'll pick myself back up.
And I know picking up the pieces of your life is not easy and I won't tell you that it is. But if you cannot help yourself in your lowest of moments, who will? You are your greatest victory but if you don't take care of yourself, you can become your greatest defeat. Once you learn to trust yourself, you'll see that you are never really alone. Someone will always be there to comfort you even if they don't understand, and if you think there is no one, talk to me. I'll be the person to tell you how strong you really are and that it's okay to fall but remember to get back up.
Just please don't let go of this life, this precious gift we have all received. Your life is so important to me and to so many! So, if you feel like you are falling, fall to your knees and cry, fall into the arms of someone who loves you, just fall. Let go of the weight that bares you down; tears are your friend and they are NOT a sign of weakness but a sign of STRENGTH.
And when you have fallen down, cried all that you could, and think you aren't worth it, I want you to take your hand and touch your heart. Feel that? That's your purpose and just because you have fallen down does not mean you cannot get up again. So get up, my friend, wipe those tears away and remember, you are loved.
In collaboration with SchizophrenicNYC
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